This is written for all parents and all grandparents of imPERFECT children. Some people, rightly so, believe their children to be perfect. You know that I love children. I think my own children, my Grands, and every student I’ve ever served or tutored are perfect.
However, when things aren’t “perfect” for a child, that is when true love and REAL parenting/teaching occurs. It is so hard to accept imperfection in ourselves, but nearly impossible to see or admit imperfection in those we love the most. But, in teaching these imPERFECT children we MUST recognize the struggle and teach them to become productive with the abilities they have in place. We SHOULDN’T make excuses or want others to REDUCE expectation for these children. It is difficult to maintain expectations and hold all CHILDREN accountable, but it is imperative to their success that we do. I stand in ADMIRATION of those parents and teachers that are given the greatest challenges with their children (students), but still remain positive and push their children to achieve at that high standard.
On the contrary, I’ve witnessed children lose ability and become LESS than they could be, because their parent(s) and/or teacher(s) thought they COULDN’T perform at level. Often you’ll find, that children who struggle, create new and more creative ways to accomplish goals than those that do not have challenges. But first, we have to BELIEVE that they can and have FAITH in those that try to help them SUCCEED.
When you fail to hold them accountable you send them a message, and one to the world, that says “THEY CAN’T…I’VE GIVEN UP ON THEM.” That “THEY CAN’T” becomes an excuse and an excuse that results in their own self-belief being shattered and an “I CAN’T” attitude becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, which can lead to a less than productive and happy life. I’ve seen this many times from a teacher or administrator position and it is so very sad for the child.
Parents keep pushing ALL children to be their very best no matter the challenge they deal with every day. Teachers keep teaching them MORE and expecting MORE of every child not just the brightest and most able. We are wonderfully and fearfully made and although we approach each task differently than the person next to us, the outcome will be the same if we set our expectations high.
There are NO perfect children, only perfect love for them!